“What?! You’re still not married?
How old are you now?”
Thank you for your concern in my personal affairs. Thank you for taking the time out from your busy schedule to remind me that I am not yet married. Because surprisingly enough until you mentioned it, it hadn’t crossed my mind. You see it’s easy to forget in a community where everyone is married at the first signs of puberty, that you don’t have another human being titled ‘husband’ by your side!
Community. It’s supposed to give you a sense of belonging, instead it’s the very foundation that can sometimes makes your life a living hell. And no, I am not being dramatic, I’m simply fed up. It’s a hot topic amongst a majority these days. Almost every social gathering involves a discussion of ‘marriage’ which is usually headed by the ever so loving ‘aunties’ and married women. “Do you not want to get married?” ” Have you not found someone yet?” “You should have found someone at University.” “Where are you going to find someone now?” “Oh I know someone, he was married but now he’s divorced, he’s looking for someone your age.”
Oh how very considerate and thoughtful of you! Oh, the assumed superiority by these women! Let’s not forget their men however, they don’t hold back either. Fathers, approaching other fathers asking them why their daughter isn’t married yet. Paying no attention to the consequences of their ill remarks. Perhaps they don’t realise their apparent patronising nature when they’re making these remarks.
I may be in my late twenties and I may not have a husband or kids, but I know what I do have. I have the gratitude towards God for blessing me with a loving family, two beautiful parents that I will never tire of attending to. I have the benefit of education, that has opened my mind in more ways than one. I have experienced life in so many different colours having travelled the world. I, have countless blessings. But most of all I have patience and faith in the One who has already decided a time for me. And so I will wait. I will wait until it is my time. I am in no rush to outrun destiny.
Until then I apologise to all those of you who are enduring ‘anxiety’ at my passing age and my state of affairs. But I respectfully suggest that you sit back and relax, and wait until I’m married to ask me “why don’t you have any kids yet?.”
Of course the cycle is never ending.
Photo Credits: stefhaneiskandar on Instagram