Hi Harmony Hustlers, I’m thrilled to introduce Anam Iqbal, the brilliant mind behind The Exes, as the next guest in this series.
As part of the celebration of South Asian Heritage Month, we’re diving deep into conversations around identity, representation, and the power of storytelling.
Anam Iqbal ‘s journey as a British South Asian Author is both inspiring and empowering. She’s channelled her deep cultural roots and personal experiences into her debut novel, The Exes.
Anam Iqbal isn’t just a talented writer; she’s also a highly educated thinker with an impressive academic background. With an MSc in Social Anthropology from Oxford (yes THE Oxford), Anam has done extensive research on British South Asian culture, especially how gender, faith, and identity intersect.
This academic insight, coupled with her lived experiences, has given The Exes an authenticity and unique heartfelt perspective that’s hard to find.
In this interview, Anam Iqbal shares the inspirations behind her novel, the challenges she’s faced in the publishing industry, and her thoughts on navigating the complexities of representing a diverse community in literature. Her answers are thoughtful, honest, and brimming with passion for her craft and her culture.
Whether you’re a fan of heartfelt stories, interested in the experiences of South Asian women in literature, or just love hearing from authors who write with purpose and passion, Anam’s story is one you’ll want to dive into. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy this conversation with a writer who’s not only making waves but also paving the way for future voices.
A. Anam Iqbal ‘s Journey as a South Asian Author:
1. Your debut novel, The Exes, has been described as ‘British South Asian Gossip Girl meets Crazy Rich Asians.’ Can you tell us how your South Asian heritage and personal experiences have inspired the story of The Exes?
The Exes has been inspired by my South Asian heritage and personal experiences in a myriad of ways. This Young Adult Contemporary novel is infused with so many of the cultural realities I’ve perceived around me whilst growing up as a British Pakistani Muslim girl in London. Throughout the story, there is a rich presence of Pakistani clothing, food and culture, and this emerged very organically because both of the main characters in this narrative are British South Asians.
I drew upon many of my own memories of what I’d seen growing up in London, whether it was attending lavish weddings with my family, visiting my local mosque or overhearing random aunties gossiping about what other girls in my community were getting up to. I also tapped into my creativity, imagining various scenarios and wondering how they would play out. I considered how they would affect different people from my community, especially in accordance with the intersectionality of their class, gender and interpretation of faith.
It was important to me to write a novel that authentically captured the experience of growing up as a British South Asian. The Exes simultaneously explores all the joys and hardships of being a part of this diasporic community. There are many elements that tie The Exes to a traditional rom-com, such as a Big Fat Desi Wedding, gossip scandals and a swoon-worthy.
I have not shied away from including some intense deeper themes in the story, such as honour, shame, Islamophobia in the British media and the patriarchy. I couldn’t write a proudly and authentically British South Asian Muslim story without including all aspects of the experience – the black, white and grey of it all (and, of course, brown!).
I, myself have experienced Islamophobia and racism whilst growing up, and the British South Asian community does have many elements of gender inequality and patriarchy, which we are still in the process of dismantling, and so, naturally, these aspects are also a part of the story.
B. Academic Inspiration
2. Your MSc in Social Anthropology from Oxford, along with your thesis on British South Asian culture, significantly influenced The Exes. How did these academic experiences shape the narrative and characters of your novel?
My grandparents or parents didn’t go into higher education and so my siblings and I were the first people in our family history to graduate from university. It was an especially proud moment for my parents when I gained admission into the University of Oxford for an MSc Social Anthropology degree, and it served to change my life in so many ways.
Funnily enough, my time at Oxford simultaneously exposed me to the potential of a whole other way of life (which initially drew me in, albeit briefly) and also propelled me to draw closer to my roots than ever before.
Before going to Oxford, I hadn’t socialised with many people from upper-class backgrounds, and it made me more aware than ever before of aspects such as privilege, skin colour and the power of networking or status. The varying aspects of these threads are explored through the lens of my main characters in The Exes, who are from vastly differing class backgrounds, yet attempt to make their love story work. Therefore, my personal experiences at Oxford served to shape the story in my debut novel in profound ways.
Furthermore, the research I conducted for my thesis directly planted the seed from which The Exes grew. For my thesis, I decided to study British South Asian culture. I specifically studied aspects of gender, faith and personal identity, and how these three factors intertwine to create an individual’s cultural reality.
I went into my research assuming I already had a clear idea and abundant knowledge of the British South Asian Muslim experience, especially since I am a part of that community. However, through conducting interviews with people of varying socio-economic backgrounds and from different walks of life, I discovered just how little I knew. It was an eye-opening and humbling experience for me and one that I hold very close to my heart. It opened my mind up to just how vibrant, diverse, ever-changing and dynamic the British South Asian Muslim community truly is.
When I first sat down to write The Exes after graduating, my mind was full of the things that people from my community had expressed to me. From academic pressure from parents, eldest daughter syndrome, toxic masculinity, arranged marriage fiascos, falling in love while dating secretly, varied religious experiences, the stress of planning a Big Fat South Asian wedding to so much more.
However my research inspired my debut novel in so many ways, and I truly believe it is what gave The Exes its authenticity, depth and richness. One of the things I love the most about The Exes is the diversity of the British South Asian Muslim representation; every character’s relationship with their parents, faith and culture is different. This was done purposefully because it was important to me to capture these nuances that so closely resemble the truth of the British South Asian Muslim community and experience.
Zara Khan, Karim Malik, Saliha Begum and Imran Sayyid are all British South Asian Muslim characters, and they are all very distinct. These characters also serve to portray how one’s gender, upbringing and interpretation of faith can shape them, making them completely unique and different from others who may be from the exact same community as them.
C. Addressing Themes and Community Perspectives
3. The Exes explores themes of love and romance that might challenge traditional South Asian values. How do you navigate potential backlash from readers who might find the portrayal controversial?
Whilst writing The Exes, I was conscious of the fact that while some British South Asian Muslims would feel seen and represented, others wouldn’t.
As I’ve mentioned before, the British South Asian Muslim community is incredibly diverse, and there are people from all spectrums of political, religious and cultural views. I knew it would be impossible to represent or appease everyone, and that was never the motivation anyway.
The response to The Exes has been as diverse as the community is. I’ve received many incredibly touching messages from British South Asian girls who finally feel seen and heard, and I’ve also received messages from people who believe this narrative is making the British South Asian Muslim community ‘look bad’ or that it should’ve been a perfectly halal book since the main characters are both Muslim.
The truth is that I’m deeply grateful for every single reader and I have complete regard for their opinions or thoughts, whatever they may be. This is because I am aware that these are based on their own experiences of being human and interpretations of the world.
However, I would always urge readers to, if possible, leave their biases behind whilst reading novels, and to come for the journey of understanding varying aspects of the human condition.
For instance, at its core, I always wanted The Exes to capture the desires of young Muslim girls to find love, be heard by their families, not face ruthless judgment for doing the things that boys are never even questioned about, and to figure out who they want to be, free of societal expectations. Perhaps if a reader realised that before picking up my book, The Exes would stop being about all the mistakes Zara Khan’s character makes or the ways in which she was an imperfect Muslim. Instead, the story comes to be about something so much more. I guess this is just a gentle reminder that providing moral handbooks and guides on living a perfect life is the forte of non-fiction. Stories are all about building connection, empathy and understanding.
“I would always urge readers to, if possible, leave their biases behind whilst reading novels, and to come for the journey of understanding varying aspects of the human condition.“
At its heart, The Exes is a love story. It captures all the thrills, beauty and challenges of young love, and I wanted to write it as honestly as I could, and that meant including non-halal scenes such as kissing and unchaperoned meetings, because this is the truth of what many Muslim teens in contemporary London experience.
Of course, not every Muslim character in The Exes is represented in this way because, on the other hand, there are many practising Muslim teens, and I wanted to capture that too. Saliha Begum (who is the best friend of the main character, Zara Khan) is a devout Muslim who has a more conservative lifestyle and views; throughout the story, she expresses her attraction towards certain boys, but she never acts upon it and the reason for that is intimately attached to her faith.
“…providing moral handbooks and guides on living a perfect life is the forte of non-fiction. Stories are all about building connection, empathy and understanding.”
I will never write characters that are stereotypes, whether it’s an oppressed or demonised Muslim or even a perfectly pious one. Humans don’t exist in categories, regardless of how much, sometimes, we try to box them into them.
For me, the very essence and purpose of writing is to explore aspects of the lived human experience as honestly and openly as possible, in the hope that it makes us all feel less alone and more understood. The pursuit of authentic creative writing, therefore, in my opinion, cannot coexist with attempting to depict perfect people.
“Humans don’t exist in categories, regardless of how much, sometimes, we try to box them into them.”
The Exes addresses many cultural taboos, whether it’s abortion, domestic violence or divorce; these are contentious topics in the contemporary world, and they are aspects that are still being considered legally, culturally and religiously in every single country globally. But they are a lived reality for many teenagers, who are exposed to such things personally or witness such aspects in their households, and therefore I believe these themes deserve a space in Young Adult literature.
I hope to be brave as a Writer and to write about the things that we often brush under the carpet or are too afraid to voice because of cultural taboos or fear of judgment. I hope that when people read my stories they feel empowered to be a little braver too.
Something important to mention is that it can be incredibly alienating for young readers to pick up books where characters are always pious or constantly doing everything right according to their faith. This can, in fact, be very unrelatable or even harmful. The truth is that life is messy, everyone makes mistakes. Society is full of contradictions and infuriating expectations that no one seems to be able to meet, and it’s better for literature to reflect that.
D. Navigating the Publishing Industry and Inspiring Future Authors
4. Despite ongoing efforts to improve diversity, the publishing industry still struggles with limited representation. As a South Asian author, what challenges have you encountered, and how do you see the industry evolving to better support and celebrate diverse voices from South Asian communities?
When my literary agent reached out to publishers about The Exes, there was interest straight away, and I’m so deeply grateful for that because it’s an incredibly tough and competitive industry to break into- a lot of novels die on submission.
My debut novel actually went into auction and a few different publishing houses scheduled meetings with me to discuss their vision for editing and marketing The Exes, after which I got to make my decision (I didn’t just want to go with the highest bidder; I wanted to sign on with a publisher who really cared about my novel because it’s so close to my heart).
In the meeting with one particular publisher, I was told that The Exes contained too many ‘serious’ underlying themes, such as gender inequality, domestic violence and abortion. They wanted to turn it into a traditional romcom and strip it of its deeper layers, many of which capture the struggles of British South Asian Muslim girls, and I immediately knew that I wasn’t going to sign on with them.
The truth is that The Exes wouldn’t be an authentically British South Asian Muslim novel if I didn’t include aspects of the difficulties the teenagers from this community experience, both in the home (gender inequality, parental pressures) and outside it (racism, cyberbullying, Islamophobia).
I was lucky that Penguin Random House understood and respected my vision deeply, and I eventually chose to sign with them.
5. What advice would you offer to other South Asian women who aspire to become authors?
In the above-mentioned experience lies one of my biggest pieces of advice: write authentically, write bravely, write fearlessly, and eventually the right doors will open, because no one can ignore a truly good, riveting book.
Thinking like this will make you stand out and help you write a book that no one else could write. I truly believe that everyone has a story inside them, either to share verbally or through their writing, and the more honest and heartfelt it is, the more likely that people will cling on to it. Trust me, readers can sniff out authenticity – it’ll always work in your favour.
So many authors of colour feel pigeonholed into writing certain stories in certain ways (I’ve felt like this in the past as well, and I sometimes still do!). We must remember that the publishing industry has been traditionally predominantly white, and we are still unlearning how to cater to the white gaze.
If we truly want to publish diverse narratives, we need to understand that a romance novel with white characters that is written by a white woman will look different to a romance novel with black characters written by a black woman. Instead of attempting to follow the same formula, underlying themes and tropes, the publishing industry needs to accept changes in narrative style and topics.
The good news is that change is definitely coming – the publishing industry is interested in publishing authentically diverse, underrepresented voices more than ever before. The fact that The Exes, with all its cultural and religious depth and representation, was published by such a reputable publisher is a sign of that change.
E. Anam Iqbal ‘s Future Plans
6. When can we expect your next book? What are your next steps?
I’m currently in the process of editing my second Young Adult novel, which will also be published by Penguin Random House; it is set to be released in Summer 2025.
It’s another proudly British South Asian novel and can be described as 10 Things I Hate About You with Academic Rivals. Some of my favourite movies of all time are the early 2000s romcoms, and it wasn’t until fairly recently (when I went down a binge-watching rabbit hole) that I realised just how much I’d love to see those amazing cinematic romance tropes being played out with South Asian characters at the centre.
Thinking about academic rivalry (one of my favourite tropes!) almost instantaneously made me think of South Asian students as the main characters because many South Asian households place high value on acquiring a good education and parents like to push their children towards becoming doctors, lawyers or engineers etc.
I was certainly raised in such a household too – my parents always encouraged me to focus on my schoolwork and to limit other distractions in my life as much as possible. I was always an incredibly studious child and growing up it was not considered to be cool to love books or to be geeky. I was definitely not one of the popular kids, so I’m having a lot of fun with spinning an alternative reality in this story.
It is set in a private school in London where being cool is linked into acquiring the best grades and having a teacher’s favour in your corner. Geeks reign the halls of this school and they’re ruthless, determined and competitive. The school environment is creating sizzling tension between my main characters, and I’m having a lot of fun writing their love story. I can’t wait for you guys to read it next year!
Anam Iqbal ‘s Incredible Journey
I hope you’ve enjoyed getting to know Anam Iqbal as much as I have!
Her journey as a South Asian author in the publishing world is both inspiring and empowering.
Anam Iqbal ‘s commitment to telling stories that resonate with the realities of her community despite criticism for reflecting the hidden aspects of the community, is commendable. If you’ve never dealt with a judgemental side eye from a South Asian aunty, you won’t understand just how challenging it is to persevere despite this. So kudos to Anam for bravely navigating this territory.
Anam doesn’t just tell stories instead she creates spaces where voices from her community can be heard, understood, and celebrated and she truly deserves all the recognition for doing so.
Feeling Inspired by Anam Iqbal ‘s Journey?
Why not take this moment to explore your own heritage? Whether it’s through reading, writing, or simply sharing your story, every voice adds to the richness of our community.
Also make sure to grab a copy Anam Iqbal ‘s The Exes, if you haven’t already. Plus, keep an eye out for Anam Iqbal ‘s next book which is in the pipeline. It’s sure to be another must-read that you won’t want to miss!
If you enjoyed this conversation with Anam Iqbal, be sure to check out the previous post featuring Shabnam Younus-Jewell. Shabnam’s story as a trailblazer in sports media is just as inspiring and offers another powerful perspective on South Asian representation. Don’t miss it!
While we celebrate South Asian Heritage Month, let’s keep the conversation alive! How are you connecting with your roots? Share your thoughts in the comments—I can’t wait to hear your stories!
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