Protect Your Energy: Best Books to Set Boundaries Confidently

Hi Harmony Hustlers, this week’s post is your reading guide on how to protect your energy– seriously, it’s one of the best things you’ll ever do for yourself. 

Welcome back! If you're new here, I’m Umay- here to help you build unshakeable confidence, reconnect with yourself, and live life on your own terms, without the burnout

I’m going to give you 6 book suggestions to help you get started. Books that will help you learn about setting boundaries and how to put yourself first.

If you’re feeling drained lately, like you’re giving more than you’re getting, then that’s a sign it’s time to check in with yourself. Setting boundaries is one of the most powerful ways to kick-start your journey to a happier, more fulfilled you. However, it isn’t always easy. Learning how to protect your energy by setting boundaries takes practice.

If you’re terrified at the thought of where to begin, this post will help you get started.

Before we dive into the book recommendations, let’s first make sure you’re clear on why protecting your energy matters, and what the signs are that it’s time to set stronger boundaries.

Why Protecting Your Energy Builds True Confidence

What’s at stake when you don’t protect your energy?

The short answer is YOU. 

Your time, your energy, your joy, your health, your happiness, and your confidence.

Everything connected to you is at stake.

Here’s the truth:

You don’t have to live in a constant state of exhaustion trying to keep everyone happy. You’re not meant to lose yourself trying to be everything for everyone. You are allowed to take up space. You’re allowed to have limits. You are not meant to live on empty.

When you fail to protect your energy you will undoubtedly lose parts of yourself, whether that’s mentally, emotionally or physically. What might have started off as a kind gesture and your need to be a ‘good’ person, can very quickly switch to self-neglect.

So what can we do about it? 

We can learn to set healthy boundaries to protect our energy.

If you’ve felt the pressure at some point,  to say “yes” when you’ve wanted to say no, afraid of letting someone down or coming off as rude, then you’re not alone.

A huge part of your self-growth journey is realising that your needs are valid. You don’t need to fix, prove, or please anyone. You simply need to protect your energy, honour your truth and still be a kind person. The only difference is that you’re not just kind to others but you’re also kind to yourself. 

When you learn how to take care of yourself and your needs, you’ll build unshakable confidence. You’ll know your ‘why’ behind everything that you do and as a result you’ll move with purpose.

Signs You Need to Set Boundaries and Protect Your Energy

Sometimes, we don’t realise how much we’re giving away until we feel completely emptied out.

If you’re struggling to protect your energy, here’s probably why.

1. You Struggle to Say No

Agreeing feels easier than facing guilt or potential conflict. You often say yes to things you’d rather avoid, and even when a situation calls for a clear boundary, saying no feels uncomfortable. This pattern is one of the clearest signs of people-pleasing, putting your needs on hold and failing to protect your energy.

2. You Feel Emotionally and Physically Drained

There’s a kind of exhaustion that sleep alone can’t fix. Tasks that used to feel manageable now feel overwhelming. Most of your energy goes toward others, leaving little room for your own well-being.

3. You Accept Disrespect

When your needs are dismissed or boundaries are crossed, you stay silent to avoid tension. Letting things slide might feel easier in the moment, but over time, it chips away at your self-worth.

4. You Second-Guess Your Needs

You often wonder, “Am I overreacting?” or “Maybe I’m being too sensitive.” This kind of self-doubt is common when your boundaries have been overlooked or invalidated repeatedly. You start to question your own instincts.

If these experiences resonate, you’re far from alone. Many of us navigate life with weak or unclear boundaries, not because we don’t care about ourselves, but because we’ve been conditioned to prioritise others first. 

Let’s dive into the books you can read to help you get started.

Best Books to Help You Protect Your Energy and Set Boundaries

As a self-proclaimed book nerd, I’m a firm believer that books can be total game-changers. So what better place to start, than to pick up a book?

When you’re feeling burnt-out from people-pleasing or just emotionally drained, the right book can give you that “aha” moment and a roadmap to move forward. 

Here’s a list of books that have been praised for their no-nonsense advice on setting boundaries, building confidence, and protecting your energy:

1. Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab

This book comes highly recommended for anyone struggling with setting boundaries. It’s all about learning to speak up, learning to stop overextending yourself, and communicating with confidence- all without feeling guilty. 

Nedra’s approach is super relatable and grounded in emotional intelligence, making it easier to put healthy boundaries in place. If you’re looking for a practical, no-nonsense guide to protecting your energy and reclaiming your time, this one’s definitely worth checking out.

2. The Disease to Please by Dr. Harriet B. Braiker

If you’ve ever felt like you just can’t say “no” or you’re constantly worried about letting people down, this one’s for you. This book dives into how the need for approval can slowly chip away at your self-worth, without you even realising it. 

Dr. Braiker breaks down where these people-pleasing habits come from and gives you clear strategies to break free from them. A big takeaway? Learning to protect your energy starts with realising that self-respect isn’t selfish. It’s essential.

3. The Art of Extreme Self-Care by Cheryl Richardson

This book is all about shifting to a life of balance. 

The author, Cheryl Richardson lays out 12 monthly practices to help you take care of, both your emotional and physical well-being. 

She makes it clear that self-care isn’t indulgent. It’s actually a form of boundary-setting that helps you protect your energy every day and I couldn’t agree more. 

If you’re someone who needs a gentle nudge to start prioritising your own needs, this book is a great reminder to make yourself a priority.

4. Emotional Intelligence 2.0 by Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves

If you’re looking to level up your emotional intelligence, this book’s a great place to start. It’s all about getting more in tune with yourself, managing your reactions, and handling tough conversations with confidence. Plus, it includes an EQ test to see where you’re at, which is pretty interesting. 

The strategies are super practical, and a lot of readers say it’s helped them protect their energy, especially in those high-stress, emotionally charged moments. If you struggle with navigating tricky situations, this book’s for you.

5. Radical Confidence by Lisa Bilyeu

If you’re feeling stuck or held back by fear, this book is a must-read. Lisa Bilyeu’s bold, motivational approach is all about overcoming self-doubt and stepping into your power. She shares a lot from her own journey, but the lessons really hit home for anyone looking to break free from fear. 

The biggest takeaway from this book is protecting your energy means not shrinking yourself to make others comfortable. Instead, it’s about living unapologetically and choosing yourself first.

6. The Book of Boundaries by Melissa Urban

This book is a go-to resource for boundary-setting scripts and real-world examples. It makes the path to speaking up without feeling guilty, much easier.

Melissa Urban’s tone is straightforward yet empathetic, which makes it super relatable, especially when you’re navigating tricky situations at work or in social settings. She really drives home the point that saying no isn’t rude.  It’s how you protect your energy and maintain your self-respect.

It All Starts with One Small Shift

Each of these books brings something unique to the table, but they all have one thing in common- a reminder that you’ve got every right to put your well-being first. 

Protecting your energy is all about safeguarding your peace, your time, and who you are.

All of the books above highlight the importance of not losing sight of our own needs. Learning how to protect ourselves by speaking up for ourselves without guilt. 

Learning to set boundaries won’t happen overnight. But with each small step, you will start to feel more aligned with yourself.. Learning to say no, speaking more honestly about your needs and making space for rest, will become so much easier once you have the right systems in place.

If you’re feeling drained, overlooked, or disconnected from yourself, take some time out to focus on yourself and your needs. Pick up a book that resonated with you the most from the list above and start your journey to a better you. 

Your Journey Starts Here

When you choose to protect your energy, you send a clear message that your time, your peace, and your well-being, matter. For years, I confused being easily available with being kind. But kindness without limits leads to burnout. 

Real care begins when you take care of yourself first and confidence builds every time you honor your needs, even in small ways.

Saying no isn’t rejection, it’s direction. 

If this post resonated with you, you might also enjoy:

• Set boundaries with confidence – A practical guide – If you want to know the exact steps to put boundaries into place then this post’s for you.
• How to Re-Build Confidence – 7 Top Tips – If you’ve lost your spark, this post will help you to get it right back!
• How to Journal for Confidence: 4 Steps to Overcome Self-Doubt – If you want to work on building your confidence on a daily basis this post will give you the prompts you need to get you started. 

If you’ve been holding back and waiting for permission to prioritise yourself, then here is it. Start with one boundary. Say no without apology. Choose yourself, and let your confidence grow from there.