How To Build Unshakeable Confidence
Hi there Harmony Hustlers, are you ready to build unshakeable confidence and unlock the secret to unstoppable success? In this post, I’m diving into exactly how to build your confidence. A trait that not only propelled me through the competitive world of Law, but can also transform your everyday life.
In this article, I’ll share the top five confidence lessons I’ve learned to date. From owning your mistakes to embracing lifelong learning and understanding the power of teamwork. These insights aren’t just for lawyers, instead they’re universal strategies. They can help anyone overcome fear, seize opportunities, and build a mindset that wins in every arena. Let’s dive in so you can focus on creating opportunities instead of just waiting for them.
Why ‘mindset’ matters for Unshakeable Confidence
If you were to ask my mother about my career path, she’d say I was born to argue. So becoming a lawyer was inevitable. I do confess to building a case for everything; whether it was why I needed a pottery maker at eight years old or why watching ‘Home Alone’ for the tenth time in a week was entirely reasonable. By seventeen, I was negotiating a trip to the States (I promise it wasn’t to meet Macaulay Culkin). I actually had the opportunity to visit the Supreme Court and I guess that was a valid reason for my parents to grant me permission to go.
The Power of Mindset: Believing before achieving
I always believed in the power of persuasion. I would convince myself that I already had what I wanted, even before I’d asked for permission. My arguments were structured, rehearsed (several times in front of the bathroom mirror) and backed with evidence.
In hindsight, I recognise that I was an extremely confident young woman. Somewhere along the way, I learned that with a strong argument, a little persuasion, and a ton of self-belief, anything was possible. I believed in my ability to win people over, so much so that I never doubted my ability to sway my parents to see things my way. That’s what mindset does. It allows you to believe that possibilities exist for you even before you have to persuade someone else to believe in them for you.
Our mindset determines whether we see doors as locked or as waiting to be pushed open.
Ironically, the unshakeable confidence I used to challenge my parents with, was instilled in me by my very own mother. While I may not have fully appreciated it back then, my mother played a pivotal role in shaping my ‘confidence mindset.’ From a young age, she planted the seeds of possibility, once telling me, “Those planes we see in the sky were created by humans just like you. If humans can learn how to fly, your mind can do anything you allow it to.”
Now, after reading countless books on success, I truly understand what a privilege it was to be raised with this mindset. Confidence isn’t just something we’re born with, it’s shaped by our environment, our upbringing and, most importantly, the way we think. The way we choose to think.
Our mindset determines whether we see doors as locked or as waiting to be pushed open. When confidence is built on this kind of mindset (the belief that we are capable, worthy and able to figure things out if we just try), it becomes unshakeable.
Confidence is a skill
If you fall into the trap of thinking that confidence is something you’re born with and that it is a personality trait, you may do yourself a disservice. Confidence is a skill, which may need polishing every now and then.
Without nurturing confidence, I might not have reached the place I’m in today. I have however had plenty of moments when I lost that spark, and it really showed in my actions. But when I realised that confidence is a skill that can be cultivated and refined, I made it my mission to build it up.
Growing up as a young South Asian female from a working-class immigrant family, I encountered numerous obstacles, but thanks to the strong foundation and support laid down by my parents, I never focused on being disadvantaged. I had no industry connections (no legal role models), and a state school education that barely prepared me for law. There were financial constraints and moving out for university wasn’t the norm in my community. But I did it anyway.
Looking back, I realise that unshakeable confidence was the key. Bit by bit, I learned to trust myself, push past obstacles and turn challenges into opportunities. And because of that I was able to carve my own path. A path that led to a legal career instead of what societal expectations would have had me settle for – marriage.
My confidence (mixed with a little bit of delusion) was so unshakable that none of the obstacles mattered to me. I decided what I wanted, believed I was capable, and went after it.
This is why I believe you can do the same.
5 Things I Learned About Confidence as a Lawyer
Let’s dive into the five key lessons I learned about confidence that apply to both law and life.
1. Stop Operating from a Place of Fear
Have you ever been in a meeting or had to speak in front of people, and suddenly your confident voice turns shaky, like you’ve gone from news anchor to Tweetie Pie from the Looney Tunes? That’s fear creeping in.
When you operate from a place of fear you’re worrying about what could go wrong instead of what you can do.
This fear is often prominent when you’re starting out in a new role, by way of a new job at a new company, a promotion into a more senior role at the same company and so on. The fear of messing up is normal. After all, you’re still figuring things out, and mistakes can happen. But the real challenge isn’t avoiding mistakes altogether, because that’s impossible. It’s learning how to handle them when they do happen. Knowing that you can figure it out allows you to put aside fear and take a more confident approach to whatever it is you’re faced with.
I remember constantly worrying about making mistakes when I first started out in law. What if one slip-up damaged my reputation, my career, or worse, my ability to practice? But here’s what I learned: trying to cover up a mistake often makes things ten times worse. Just recently, I read about a paralegal who got barred from the profession after trying to cover up missed emails by faking responses (The Law Society Gazette). The missed emails were the mistake- the covering up of the emails was the fear driven reaction that cost her, her career. It’s always better to own up, take responsibility and move forward.
“If you make a mistake, own up.”
Jon Goodwin– Solicitor advocate
Confidence comes from knowing that, no matter what happens, you’ll figure it out. Focus on your capabilities, not your shortcomings.
Life Application: Focus on avoiding operating from a place of fear, and when mistakes do happen, own up, address them and move forward. Confidence isn’t about never making mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes and mistakes are part of the learning process. What really matters is how you deal with them. Always handle a mistake with integrity. When you act with confidence, you build trust; not just with others, but with yourself.
2. Be a Sponge
The best thing you can do to build unshakeable confidence is to stay curious and open to learning. Confidence isn’t just about knowing everything, it’s about trusting that you can figure things out. The more you immerse yourself in learning the more adaptable and capable you become.
Even once you build expertise, never stop being a student. Adopt a lifelong learning mindset since it will serve you in every aspect of life. Some of the most confident lawyers I know are the ones who continuously seek knowledge. Not just from textbooks but from peers, juniors, and even clients. The most dangerous mindset is believing you already know it all.
Life Application: Growth fuels confidence, but knowledge alone doesn't guarantee it.
I've seen incredibly intelligent colleagues hesitate to speak up in meetings, while others, sometimes with less expertise, speak with conviction and are taken seriously.
Confidence isn’t just about what you know, but how you apply it, how you present yourself and your willingness to step forward even when you don't have all the answers.
Life is an ongoing learning process, and you’ll never have all the answers. If you keep waiting until you feel ready, you’ll only hold yourself back. You don’t need the wisdom of an 80-year-old at 20. What you do need is the confidence to take action with what you know now. The rest, you’ll learn along the way.
3. Build a ‘Success’ Portfolio
I cannot stress enough the importance of documenting your development. As a Trainee, I had to document every case I worked on, every skill I developed, and every lesson I learned. It was time-consuming, but extremely valuable. I was lucky enough to have an incredible mentor who taught me so much. I wanted to make sure I retained all of his wisdom.
That official Trainee record lasted two years, but I believe everyone should maintain a ‘success portfolio’ throughout their career and life. A collection of your achievements, big and small which remind you of your progress. A success portfolio serves as evidence of your impact, strengthens your confidence, and provides invaluable material for promotions, performance reviews, or new opportunities.
Life Application: There may be times in life when you feel as though you haven’t achieved much. When self-doubt creeps in it’s easy to fall into this trap of minimising your success. In times like these, your success portfolio will remind you of how far you’ve come. Let your past achievements fuel your future confidence.
4. Unshakeable Confidence is a Team Effort
Whilst the saying “there’s no ‘I’ in team,” is true, many people struggle to embrace teamwork for collective success. Over time, I’ve realised that teamwork isn’t just an instinct, it’s a mindset.
When you see your team’s success as your own, your goals naturally align with its vision. You become an integral part of its growth, making every achievement feel personal and every challenge worth overcoming together. This mindset allows you to recognise the value you bring to a team.
As former commercial pilot Christen Killick puts it:
“Each one of us represents a cog in a wider system, and how we choose to operate affects the others within that system. Our contribution is unique – something no one else can bring…”
Life application: Confidence isn’t just about standing tall on your own. It’s also about recognising the strength that comes from being part of something bigger.
When you isolate yourself or focus too much on self-improvement in a vacuum, you risk missing out on the immense growth that comes from collaboration, contribution, and shared experiences.
Being part of a community isn’t about losing yourself, it’s about expanding who you are.
When you shift your mindset from 'What am I getting?' to 'What can I give?', you create a sense of purpose that reinforces your self-worth. By contributing to something beyond yourself, you’re not only building relationships but you’re building you.
5. Unshakeable Confidence Always Wins
When you understand the power of confidence you realise that it is a gateway to opportunities you might not even realise exist.
In my career, I learned that having the unshakeable confidence to say “yes” to small opportunities often led to much bigger ones down the line.
Imagine this: someone at work asks you to present to a client or pitch an idea to the wider team. If you feel confident, you step up. That single decision could lead to internal recognition, new projects, or even external opportunities like headhunting. But if self-doubt takes over and you say ‘no’, thinking you’re only turning down a presentation opportunity and that’s all, you might be closing the door on something much bigger, something that could change the trajectory of your career.
Life Application: Don’t let your lack of confidence hold you back from achieving big things.
When you operate from a place of unshakeable confidence, you naturally become more open to challenges, risks, and moments that could transform your career or life.
Unshakelable confidence doesn’t guarantee success, but it positions you for it. When you carry yourself with belief in your abilities, people take notice. Compare how you feel when you’re in your element versus when self-doubt creeps in. The difference is striking. The more you show up as the confident version of yourself, the more you invite success in all areas of life.
The Power of Unshakeable Confidence
Confidence is truly a transformative power. In law, and in life, unshakeable confidence is what sets you apart.
It is the key to unlocking your full potential.
Unshakeable confidence isn’t arrogance. It’s not about knowing everything or never making mistakes. Instead it’s about believing in your ability to figure things out. It is what gives you the courage to take risks, push past limitations, and keep going when faced with setbacks. It is the driving force that propels you forward, and it is confidence that enables you to build the skills and determination needed to thrive.
Confidence is the spark that makes everything possible and without it, even the most talented and skilled individuals can struggle to move forward. Confidence makes every challenge feel conquerable and every goal feel attainable.
Alongside believing in your abilities, it’s about believing that you deserve to succeed. And with that belief, you become unstoppable.
If you found this post helpful, make sure to leave a comment below, and check out my other posts on confidence including 'How to Rebuild Confidence – 7 top tips' & '10 Daily Habits to skyrocket your Confidence at work.' Happy reading!
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